When Hard Work Doesn’t Work

Welcome to things I will probably be contemplating my entire life.

Today’s topic: hard work.

Since childhood, I have been obsessed with observing and listening to successful people across all fields—be they spiritual leaders, athletes, musicians, or CEOs. 
In this lifelong fixation, I have heard the same thing credited for people’s success across the board. Working really hard.

But what if… hard work doesn’t work for you?

And you're also interested in being successful (whatever that means to you), creating great work, being prolific, etc.

*Enter, me* 

My non-sacral, no-motors, highly-sensitive, couch-loving AND driven, work-loving, ambitious self has ruthlessly experimented with this.

I spent many years trying the ‘hard work’ thing. It was blatantly obvious it didn’t work for me. Beyond being miserable, my body reflects, ‘this is wrong,’ almost immediately.

I also spent many years aiming to live a life of hermitage and desirelessness. This was also totally incorrect for me. 

*Cut to me making to-do lists and business plans when there was nothing to do and no business. Also giving anyone who would listen a free human design or astrology reading, with some energy work thrown in*

Once my business birthed and began, I had the chance to reckon with everything I had learned during the prior decade of extremes. 

I knew overdoing it was not the way. I also knew I loved to work, and everything I cared about was miraculously becoming a part of said work. Aka, a literal dream coming true.

Here’s what I know (right now):

• • When you aren’t driven by something deep and meaningful or have little access to your authentic energies, it doesn’t matter if you’re a triple-motor MG. You will feel depleted and confused.

• • When you are driven by something deep and meaningful to you and have the energy output to match it—you can live by the hard work adage. You can work like Kobe, Elon, and Beyoncé. You don’t have to, but you can.

• • You can also live this way 👆 if you're driven by fear and pain, and the world will praise you for it 👀

• • When you are driven by something deep and meaningful to you and don’t have access to endless life force, you must learn to work wisely. Your life, output, and flow will differ from those in the prior category. And that doesn’t mean anything about your ability to be successful.

  Think Ariana Huffington post-burn out (she’s a no-motors Projector, y’all), Adele (Manifestor), and Kris Jenner (I know, I know, but there’s something important to see here; she’s a Projector whose entire career is ‘managing’ (guiding) her children).

For me, working wise looks like:

1. Flow over everything

When I’m in flow, I feel like I am Beyoncé (lol). My output may not last 8 hours, but what I can do in 3-5 hours is baffling.

How do you create flow? 

For me, it’s not nootropics, cold plunges, or matcha. All of those things are great. But in my experience, flow (or, coherence), comes from showing up for what Life is presenting me with and being willing to continuously engage in the art of transformation. This is where I get access to more of myself every time. Also, matcha tastes better when you're not avoiding yourself 🤷‍♀️

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this is not an equation. 

Just as much as working with Life on its terms creates flow, so does moving into doing when you don't want to. In fact, your dance with Life will be the very thing that creates space to perceive when your resistance to beginning is just that, a mere blip. Not a reason to throw in the towel.

Don't wait for the muse. Showing up consistently is courtship. 

2. Discipline is more complex than we've been led to believe 

While I love a good motivating get-up-and-do mindset rant, for many of us, sourcing our unique connection to discipline has to go deeper than mindset.

When I reflect on my journey, greater access to discipline comes from what I just mentioned up there 👆 and specifically, from the healing that’s occurred around my human and inner parents. 

I didn’t have healthy discipline or flow modeled to me by either of my primary caregivers. It was something I had to learn (mainly) through reparenting. I became the Mom and Dad to myself that I wished I’d had. I kid you not when I say I had to learn ‘how to tell the truth’ in my early 20s.

These deeper levels of access to yourself, in turn, give you access to the heart of the discipline. Being attuned to the subtleties of when you actually need to rest and recharge and when the medicine is pushing through and doing the thing. I.e., knowing yourself and your needs.

3. Motivation is an inconsistent lover (return to 1 and 2)

Being motivated is awesome. But there’s a reason why big motivational peeps base their business model on containers where you are immersed in intoxicating amounts of dopamine and oxytocin that make you feel like anything is possible—only to have to fade once you’re no longer in that energy 

Motivation makes you feel like you can do anything.

But what happens when the thing you’re plugged into, be it a person, a thought form, or a momentary influx of energy, dissipates?

You are left with you. All of you.

Return to 1 and 2 🤠

Where to begin with all of this?

So glad you asked.