“You Better Marry Rich”
I spend a lot of time observing people. And people interacting with money. And how energy does or doesn't flow in those interactions.
I've noticed something that can either be really annoying or liberating to your brain: we all are designed to work (or play) with money differently.
We all have varying levels of resistance to different parts of the money experience. Our resistance and flow are based on a complex cocktail of everything from our subconscious beliefs to our auric patterns to our country and more.
For the sake of this email, let's simplify it to some things elicit resistance and others things elicit flow.
Though we can spend all the live-long day exploring our resistance (which we do a ton of in Money Medicine), there is also something to be said about exploring and milking where we have flow.
This brings me back to the beginning: we all are designed to work (or play) with money differently.
Let's say there's a person, Squidward, who gets off on financial planning, goal setting, and tracking. These activities bring Squidward into deeper flow and embodiment. He loves the idea of working towards a goal and, without one, starts to care less.
Another person, Patrick, who resists short-term financial goal-setting, has a ton of coherence around long-term goals like retirement savings. That "end picture" really gets Patrick's juices flowing and resources him to interact with and make money in the short term.
Let's say there's another person, Spongebob, who is entirely resistant to the previous paragraph. Spongebob finds most traditional money ventures totally boring but finds that whenever there's some sort of shenanigans or celebration to be had with money, a ton of flow opens up.
A trip to surprise a friend or family member. An opportunity to celebrate something or someone(s). And, of course, the many ways money would flow through and be involved in this are when Spongebob notices that money really starts to flow. Spongebob has no problem attracting and handling tons of money as long as fun and sharing will be had along the way.
Let's look at Sandy. Sandy doesn't really care about money and, most of the time, wonders why we have yet to transcend it. Yet, Sandy finds that when she lets herself play in this reality — where money is simply a temporary energy that we are well on our way to transcending — she has less resistance to money. And is a much clearer channel for the energy of money and how we can work with it in a healthy, yet non-attached way, now.
These people have entirely different stimuli for their resistance and flow with money. None of them are right or wrong, better or worse. They just are.
Now, cue an endless vortex of money programs, each saying that specific things are right or wrong, better or worse, complete with a batch of shoulds and maybe some fear sprinkled on top.
No one is absolved from this vortex. We've all picked up energies that tell us what deeply excites us is wrong in some way, and what doesn't is what we should be doing.
There is an exquisite collaborative power in discovering your personal flow, appreciation, and excitement around money—and committing to it. Which in part means committing to transforming that which stands in the way of it. It's not uncommon to find entire universes standing in the way of it. Yee old, the wound contains the wisdom adage.
In those previous examples, I'm Spongebob. My ongoing journey to accept that I'm Spongebob has been anything but flowy and filled with droves of shame and punishment.
My most authentic relationship with money is play and celebration, which sounds great but is the opposite of how we are taught to be with money. Furthermore, those who attempt to embody this publicly are insidiously judged and crucified.
But when I really get into the pocket of my unique money love affair, it's undeniable. I am a celebrator with and of money.
During my entire childhood, my Dad told me, "Pilar, you're either going to need to marry rich or make a ton of money…" Always in reference to my expensive taste and innocent enjoyment of luxury. My Nonna, Papa, and I used to stay at really nice hotels together, and allegedly, that's where calling me Eloise was born because little me walked around totally comfortable, like I had lived there my whole life. Put me in a store with no price tags, and the thing I'm most drawn to and excited about will, without fail, be the most expensive.
If I were to boil it down, it's simple. I love the experience of something well-made, well-done—something of quality and intention. Quality, to me, is raising a champagne flute to the Creator and all of Creation and saying, look at what's possible! Look at what we get to play in down here! We are reveling in the spirit in matter!
What gets me going is not savings accounts or financial goals and metrics. It's not money-driven success and power or transcendence of money altogether.
It's using money as a vehicle to celebrate and enjoy Life. To appreciate all of Creation.
Within that, there is no resistance. Just pure, unencumbered life force.
When I'm in flow with that, everything else — savings, retirement, overhead, employees, bills, etc. — is taken care of. When I'm resisting this part of myself, money feels like a dry, hollow, abysmal black hole.
So yes, turn towards your resistance with curiosity.
And, through that, don't forget to also turn towards your flow with fervor.
This is why I created Money Medicine.
Because you have a way with money designed to make you feel alive.
A way that resources you to engage the totality of your experience with money. Without that nourishment, you will grow exhausted, annoyed, avoidant, complacent, or just plain bored with money.
I don't know about you, but I came here for full spectrum humanity, with all things, including… MONEY.
And to successfully play without abandoning our humanity is the closest thing we have to enlightenment.
How many times have you invested money into something, hoping it would make you money, and were left feeling like something was off?
This is an investment into concepts, skills, and training that will teach you to engage your money experiences to the point that they become free of money so that money can be free.
There is a silent liberation in having a money experience that, for maybe the first time in your life, feels different –– safe, grounded, clear, spacious, whatever it is.
