The Subtle Art of Spiritually Cock-Blocking Money (and solutions to changing this)
From where I stand, the (spiritual?) money conversation continues to become more complex, rife with unprocessed emotion, and filled with 'bad othering.'
This comes as no surprise as money is one of the great and delicate powers that, next to sexual energy, probably contains the most manipulation, exploitation, and pain.
Simply put, money has much to teach us about Life, Death, and everything in between.
And — the question is — how deep are you willing to engage?
Because in all my years in 'this work,' those who have gone to the depths with money are successfully able to stay in the practice of becoming the antidote to the endless pains this energy carries.
Here are 3 unlikely barriers I see to people making peace with money, partnering with money, and, most of all — stewarding or simply having money. Do I need to add "generative" and "life-giving" here? Or can we assume that's implied forevermore? 🙂
1. You’ve been scarred from ungrounded manifestation work and business coach money trauma — and now don't want to touch any of it with a 10-foot-pole
I love this one. Because I know it like the back of my hand.
I have seen the underbelly of the manifestation, you can have it all, quantum wealth, coaching industry, and it ain't pretty. AND, one of the pearls of wisdom mined from my soirées into this industry's proverbial Sodom and Gomorrah (yeesh, Pilar, calm down) is getting the map to the way out.
By the way out, I mean — what drives this, where does that live in me, and how do I become the antidote to a world I do not stand for.
I got so deep into this I wrote an entire article about it HERE if you want to read.
The quick n' dirty drive-by version: if any of this world pisses you off in any way, shape, or form, then first of all, let me be the one to say — welcome to the party. Your anger is an intelligent mobilizer that contains the wisdom of worlds you came here to birth and build.
The assignment (if you so desire) is to clear what's not yours and feel your way through what is so that you can contact what lives behind and beyond that anger.
Moreover, you can be transported into deeper embodiment of what you stand for without becoming locked in the state of trying to punish that which you are against. (Which is a sly, sly dog that will creep its way into your money endeavors.)
Hey, hey, nothing wrong with that place. Often, it's a vital stop on the path. BUT, and this is a big but, that is not where actual change is created. That is where you and a bunch of other angry people get so charged up together that every action you take is imbued in divide-and-conquer energy. And, the worlds you create are, well, (get ready) more of the same.
Follow-up point: these are the states that intelligently keep you from money. Pouring your energy into what you are for is awesome, but you know what else is awesome? Doing this and allowing money in. I would even dare to say that, in this case, you haven't truly become the antidote to these wild n' weird worlds of money until you are letting yourself truly be with money.
Because becoming the antidote to whatever world of money is not right for you means showing a way with money that you do stand for. Keyword: with money.
If you’re constantly triggered by the amount of $$$ that coach makes — do you think money will be coming to visit you anytime soon?
I just asked, and she said no.
🤷♀️
In sum, if you're resonating with this, the assignment probably includes deeper intimacy with money. This means finding a way not to be mired in resistance to it and the upside-down worlds of pain it is a part of.
2. Your money journey now lives under the concept of surrendering your will to God’s Will (and now you are slyly using the Divine Will axiom to avoid engaging Life on its terms, i.e., perhaps some painful, shadowy money work)
One of my weirdest joys is seeing where subtle and nuanced spiritual concepts are used as avoidance mechanisms.
Surrendering your will to Divine Will has become an increasingly popular esoteric concept. Large in part due to the group from number 1 finding this idea and going, "Ahhh, this feels so much better. This feels so much easier. This helps me feel like a good (better, more advanced, self-righteous) person. Look at all those people chasing their lower-case wills. Poo-poo on them!"
You think I'm kidding, but I'm not 🙃
Here's the quick n' dirty: surrendering or unifying your will with Divine Will takes WORK. You only become 'empty' of yourself by becoming deeply full of yourself or — integrated, coherent, embodied. And, let me remind you that these states are not achieved through avoidance but by being willing to engage yourself and Life in a way that demands devotion, humility, and sincerity.
We know we are close to the truth when paradox is afoot, and this is an often wildly misunderstood big boy.
Divine Will does not come to those who have allegedly thrown their little will into the void as a desperate attempt to escape all the BS that often did them dirty. Because Divine Will lives on the other side of your showing up for the — not always 'easy' and 'good feeling' — stuff Life is serving you up. In this case, perhaps what lives in and beyond money for you. Your own personal money medicine tincture, if you will.
Take it from me. I have been through this process so many damn times that I built a house there.
In sum, God’s Will — or collaborating with Creation — is an awesome and sincere interest of most of us reading this article.
AND, you think the masters who embodied these states (cough Jesus) got there by getting really angry at a particular group of people (and their relationship to money), denouncing them, and then flopping onto their back and proclaiming, "I'M WITH GOD NOW!"
I don't quite remember it that way.
Jesus was wholly and nauseatingly committed to integration and coherence and thus did everything in his damn power to become a vessel. Including, but not limited to, eradicating every strand of punishing and divide-and-conquer energies from his system.
Now, that's a code.
3. You avoid your current financial reality and simultaneously use your relationship with your business (and everything connected to it) as marketing for your services
Confused?
Me too.
Nobody wants to talk about this. Because it's triggering AF. Yet, I've seen it rearing its head too many times to count.
Let's cut the heart of it — if you're in the business of using your relationship with your business (aka the arena of commerce aka money’s main stomping grounds) as a way to market yourself and your services — then there's something to be said about being willing to present the whole picture.
Not just the part that makes you look good. Because where we are going and what you've most likely committed to demands integrity.
Otherwise — we're just creating more of the same.
An arena of commerce filled with truths untold.
An example: every time someone gets on lé internet and uses the fact that they just took a 6-month break from their business as a way to market themselves as someone who can help you have a more sincere relationship with business — you paint a world of fantasy that says "this is possible for everyone!"
If an aspect of your relationship to business that you’re using as marketing was made possible because you were (or, weren't) financially supported (by something other than your business), then including that sets us all free.
Receiving financial support from someone or something is okay.
Being able to quit your job and go full-time in your business because of an inheritance is okay.
Being in debt is okay.
It's all okay.
For some people, taking 6 months off from their business would have to involve getting 1-3 other jobs; for some people, it would require moving in with family; for others, it would border on homelessness.
Painting the whole picture when marketing how you relate to your business is often vehemently avoided, and here's why: there is often some form of shame, guilt, or *insert other energy here* around the financial support they are or aren't receiving.
Ah, hello, pain attached to money.
It's often in the processing and metabolization of your reality, as it is — that you gain access to money 'miraculously' flowing into your business. Because you just unclogged a pipe that was mired in a truth untold.
Do you know…
…how many people are financially supported by someone or something else and ashamed of it?
…how many are buying into fantasies presented online and thinking there's something wrong with them/their business because it doesn’t look like that for them??
…how many are duped into even starting a business from the endless sea of truths untold? (Cough, influencers.)
There is…
…a collective exhale when someone tells the whole story. The story allows people's systems to entrain to the realness, the humanness, and the truth of it all. Specifically when that story pertains to the very thing, they want to help others with.
Now, I'm not advising you to get on IG live and emotionally announce your own personal truth untold. This is food for thought. And – like all things, when interacted with sincerely – it can take you on a journey of embodiment that leads you to the exact right moments, people, and ways to share whatever is meant to be.
I position myself as someone who helps with money, business, and relationships to them. So, it’s been made apparent to me that telling the truth about my situation is kind of important.
Every time I was/am willing to tell the story of being on food stamps, having no money, receiving miraculous money gifts here and there, being the sole bread winner and supporter of my family, employing people, etc. — I am a beacon for all those who see themselves in that story.
“Okay, here's someone who did it with nothing. I can use this person as a beacon of possibility specific to my situation.”
Same same for, "Okay, here's someone who is also fully supported by a partner, family, etc., who was able to build a thriving business. I can do it too."
PSA — you, your partner, and your family are all allowed to thrive financially.
But, that's a code for another time.
